Hope
by PursuingDesign
Summary: He was sick of these games. He was tired of being played. There was vicious, fuzzy memories of a violent Katniss.  He hated her. He blames her for the lives lost. Of his broken dreams. But a bittersweet memory left him speechless.   Sonfic/Oneshot


**AN: Okay. Hi there. Missed me?  
>Uhm. Awkward news. I am NEVER updating Unlucky again. I deleted Wonder and Preparing to Take Hold. They were awful and OOC.<br>I'll leave Unlucky because I hand written that like a year ago but only started publishing it. It's too immature for me. I didn't grasp the character of Peeta very well. And for that I will apologize. I'm still *slightly* proud of it. But after reading _Burned, _I felt like a failure. But the author has inspired me to write more. (I forgot your penname, whoever you are. I'm too lazy to look it up) **

**Ah. Sorry bout that.  
>ANYWHOOOO. This is a song fic to Forced Doors on the 14th Floor by VersaEmerge. Kinda Lengthy. Removed the second chorus.<br>(I DONT OWN ANYTHING) (PS: I don't have my MJ copy with me. Sorry if it's off. It's on memory.)**

* * *

><p><em>Abandon me!<em>

He silently prayed that Katniss would leave him there.  
>He no longer wanted to be used as bait.<br>As they inject more and more of the venom-he's losing himself.  
>There's a part of him who wants to kill her.<br>But all he used to care about was Katniss.  
>Something tells him that she's gnawing at herself because of his capture.<br>But he no longer cares.  
>He just wanted to be left alone.<p>

_I was never one to hold out well under pressure._

His insanity finally kicked in.  
>Clashing memories that never made sense bothered him.<br>But he was still to perform under President Snow's command.  
>"A cease fire," his voice drips off of his lips.<br>That whispering instinct tells him that he's being played.  
>But he was never one to hold out well under pressure.<p>

_I was lost. I hope you can find me._

He was hopelessly lost. Confused.  
>He didn't need other adjectives to describe how he felt.<br>You could see it on his face.  
>The desire to kill grew.<br>But the need for love craved hope.  
>He demanded answers.<br>All he wanted was to be found.

_I've got to find myself before I can move on this time._

He was sick of these games.  
>He was tired of being played.<br>There was vicious, fuzzy memories of a violent Katniss.  
>He hated her.<br>He blames her for the lives lost.  
>Of his broken dreams.<br>But a bittersweet memory left him speechless.  
>"I'm more than just a piece in their Games."<br>_  
>Can we penetrate the barricades created by me?<em>

As they broke him free, he was screaming conspiracies.  
>Not just of the Capitol.<br>Of his love, Katniss.  
>His blue eyes had created a shield against the truth.<br>He secretly hopes that _she_ can tear them brick by boring brick.

_We know our mouths aren't locked through forced doors._

He knows that he's being watched in his hospital room.  
>The doctors know what he screams at night.<br>His eyes dilate in fear.  
>They whisper words.<br>_Hijacked_, they murmur under their breaths.  
>They were sure that he couldn't hear.<br>They were wrong.  
>He knew it all.<br>But he still believed Katniss was a mutt.

_I can feel the tension in your words,_  
><em>screaming for me to understand what you've been thinking.<em>

"Peeta!" She shouts in sheer joy.  
>But he doesn't feel the happiness.<br>He feels the worry.  
>He interprets it as fear.<br>He feels the tension.  
>But assumes it's a cover.<br>She never loved him.  
>Did she?<p>

_There's a cloud casting ore your head._  
><em>Can't see anything clear, you're only seeing who you were.<em>

He couldn't see anything right.  
>Nothing made sense.<br>Dripping blood and hot chocolate.  
>Beautiful gray eyes.<br>He regarded them as cold and calculating.  
>But he saw a young starving girl in the rain.<br>Was this Katniss?  
>He felt inclined to give her something.<br>Did he feel that now?

_Too far to reach I'll say._  
><em>She's on the tips of my fingers.<em>  
><em>(He'll bless her heart one step at a time)<em>

His fingers wrap around her throat.  
>He chokes her.<br>Release all hatred through his tough hands.  
>But he feels something.<br>Maybe he shouldn't have done that.  
>But as he blacks out, he mouths the words.<br>_"I'm sorry."_

_Don't let her fall. There will be no return._

His better side never let go.  
>He never wanted to risk losing her.<br>He saw her grin at Finnick and Annie's wedding.  
>One day, he wanted to be the recepient of her joyous smile.<p>

_The burdened act which brought us to a halt_  
><em>will someday make us stronger.<em>

The Games.  
>The Hijacking.<br>The Rebellion.  
>He wanted to give up.<br>But as Coin placed him on Squad 451, he knew different.  
>He couldn't sastify Coin with her desire to turn Katniss into a martyr.<br>He knew one day, Panem will regain strength through the pain.

_Clouds casting over your head -_  
><em>Self portraits of what you once were.<em>

As Finnick died to the mutts, he realized something.  
>These potrayals of how everyone saw Finnick was wrong.<br>He was strong. He was loyal. He wasn't a player.  
>He hoped that people no longer saw his crazy maniac side.<br>He prayed that he could change into who he used to be.  
>Loving. Careful. Graceful.<p>

_She will break and shatter._  
><em>There will be no return. Hold on tight.<em>

She cries relentlessly.  
>She had lost her Prim.<br>She no longer had Gale.  
>She thought she no longer had Peeta.<p>

_Let's stop everything - Exchange all that we know_  
><em>It's much better without having gravity holding you down from the air.<em>

But when she found out that he was there all along, he felt wholesome.  
>It felt like the whole world stopped just for them.<br>Just to catch up.

_Take action. Stand up for what you once were._  
><em>This is my time, our time to make the changes<em>  
><em>that we want to make real. This is our time.<em>

There was one word that made him complete.  
>He is himself again.<br>The symbol of rebirth.  
>He whispers in her ears.<br>"You love me, real or not real?"  
><strong><em>"Real."<em>**


End file.
